Speaking to the gap

I read a devotional back during Advent that had the following advice that really spoke to me: For Advent, pray, work, speak out about the gap between the way the world ought to be and the way it is, while trusting God to work also in the gap.

Good advice not just for Advent but for every day. And direction to us, I think, to move forward in the ways we can, even in heartbreak and disillusionment.

I’ve had the amazing blessing to be part of some really incredible work that God is doing right now in the life of my church and in the life of the adults and youth in our community. It is holy work. Healing work. Long past due work.

Being a part of it is so encouraging, and so life-giving.

But at the same time, it is so heartbreaking.

Because as we learn how to meet needs, to meet people where they are, and to love people well, we learn the ways and places that this very attitude has been lacking. Places where our youth should have felt safe but have not.

I have been an advocate for children and others who needed a voice for more than 20 years. It is my instinct to stand up and to speak up when things are not the way that I think they should be or when injustice exists.

That instinct is in my heart, and in my brain, and in my blood, and in my bones.

As I learn more about the many gaps between how the world ought to be and how it is, it is all I can do not to stand up and to speak up.

Not just stand up and speak up, but jump on a chair, or a table, and yell at the top of my lungs. 

But I can’t. Not just now. Not just yet. Because the time isn’t yet right. Because there’s more than one way to speak to that gap, I have learned. We can speak with our tongues and with our words. Or we can speak with our actions. We can speak with our love. We could choose to tear down. But instead we choose to build.

I was in a permanency conference yesterday where a foster mom was speaking about a baby for which she and her husband are caring who came into their home severely drug exposed and severely neglected. She described how when he first came to them, he didn’t make a sound. He didn’t cry at all. But now that he’s been there for a few weeks, he cries when he’s hungry, cries when he’s wet, cries when he’s tired. She said this, “Once he figured out that if he would cry, somebody would come, he started to cry.” These foster parents are teaching that baby he has a voice. A voice that matters. A voice that he can use to speak to his own needs, a voice that will be heard by those who care for and about him, and a voice that will be honored through the meeting of those needs.

Part of speaking to that gap, between how the world ought to be and how it is, is teaching those within that gap that they have a voice. A voice that matters.  A voice that they can use to speak to their own needs. A voice that will be heard by those who care for and about them, and a voice that will be honored through the meeting of those needs.

As much as I want to speak to that gap, it’s not always my place to do so. Sometimes the best way to speak to that gap is to teach others to speak for themselves. To teach them that they have a voice of their own. To love them as they gain confidence in that voice. To support them as they learn to use that voice on their own. And to stand up, to stand beside them, but to shut up and let them speak to their own truth. A truth that as much as we may feel we have the right and need to speak to, may not be a truth we have the right to speak at all.

This isn’t a lesson I am even remotely liking to learn. It isn’t easy. It isn’t natural. And it makes me really cranky. But I am trusting that this is a lesson God is teaching me for a reason.

So as I learn, I pray: Loving God, give me the courage to speak when it is mine to speak and when it is time to speak. Give me the patience to be quiet when it is not. Let me be a support, a guide, and an encouragement for others as they find their own voices, grow confidence in those voices, and gain the courage to use those voices on their own. Thank you for this call that you have placed within me. Thank you for the opportunity to see others as you see them and to love others as you love them. Help me always to remember that, as I pray, work, and speak out about the gap between the way the world ought to be and the way it is, I can always trust that you are working also in the gap. I pray this in the name of Jesus, who taught us the true meaning of standing up and speaking up.  Amen.