The power of women

I’ve really been struck this week by what a gift it is that I am surrounded by so many amazing, giving, loving, and powerful women.

I had a brutal, physically and emotionally exhausting day in court on Wednesday. 16 hearings, 2 of them involving the death of a child, 2 others involving infants with traumatic brain injuries. The others filled with their own drama and sadness. What made the day more bearable, what makes all the days like that more bearable, were the amazing women that I get the opportunity to work with.

In the middle of all the drama and the heartbreak of that day, I had the opportunity to have lunch with three of my favorite female coworkers and friends. It’s what gave me the energy and the spirit to finish the rest of the day. It wasn’t so much the food that nourished me, but the companionship of other women with strong personalities but soft hearts.

At the end of the exhausting day, I went to the house of a dear friend who had just had surgery. I was able to spend the next 2 hours with her and another sweet friend, just being together. We cared physically for our wounded friend. But we also cared emotionally for each other. It was exactly what each of us needed after challenging weeks for all of us.

As I thought about the work day and the evening following, I realized that there is just something sacred about the relationships that women have with each other.  About the ways that they are able to hold each other up when one is down. The ways that they surround each other and protect each other in times of vulnerability.

In her book Of Mess and Moxie, Jen Hatmaker describes a time in her life when she was under serious attack for the stand that she and her husband took on affirming the LGBTQ community. She tells the story of how her friend sent her a photo of a herd of elephants along with a story of how female elephants surround their fellow females at such times as when they are giving birth or under attack by a predator. And that they protect her and they protect her offspring until such time as they can stand for themselves.

This is exactly what good female friends do for each other.  They surround each other.  They close ranks, and they stomp dirt, and they make noise. And they tell the world, if you want to mess with our friend, you have to mess with us first. There is little in this world more powerful or more terrifying than a woman protecting someone she loves.

There is also little in this world more heartbreaking to see than women judging other women for lifestyle choices that they make that don’t align with their own. As lifegiving as women have the ability to be, they also have an incredibly ability to be judgmental, and hurtful, and at times just totally mean.

I was listening to a podcast recently and they were talking about the story of Moses, but with the focus less on who Moses was than how he became to be who he was. They talked about how when he was born, his life would not have even been possible without some very important women who were not afraid to break the rules to do the right thing and to save his life.

The story begins with the defiance of Moses’ mother in placing him into the water in a basket and the defiance of Pharaohs daughter in choosing to save him, knowing what and who he was.

But what they did was so much more than that.  These two women, from totally different social statuses, worked together to save this child’s life. They broke the law to do it. They totally disregarded what they were supposed to do and they did instead what they ought to do.

How different would the story be without the bravery of those women and their willingness to do the right thing, setting aside any fear, cultural expectations, or personal differences.

What if instead of seeing the humanity of Moses’ mother and her heartbreaking plight, and choosing to take a stand to do something about it, Pharaoh’s daughter had turned in Moses’ mother? Likely her actions would have resulted in her death and the death of Moses. How different would the Old Testament look without the influence of Moses?

When women come together for a positive common cause, there is no human power greater. I have seen it in my own personal life, in my work life, and in the lives of the marginalized and the overlooked, time and time again. They set aside egos, personal agendas, and pride. They think outside the box.  Sometimes they just throw the box away. They don’t consider the rules, or the expectations, or the opinions of people who don’t matter.  They pull together to do what needs to be done because it needs to be done, without worry of anything else.

When women come together for a negative common cause, there is nothing more damaging or heartbreaking. Women have the power to cause great wounds in other women. I have seen it in my own personal life, in my work life, and in the lives of the marginalized and the overlooked, time and time again.

Let us recognize the power that we have as women.  Both the power to do great things. And the power to do very harmful things. Let us always choose to do what is great and what is right by other women. To do what lifts others up rather than tears them down.

I am beyond proud to have the opportunity to work with so many strong, amazing, loving, and fearless women. And to have so many of those same type of women in my personal life who love me and who love my children. This world, my life, and the lives of my family, are better and richer because of them.