We took a lot of photographs this past weekend when we took Aaron to Rice. Usually I’m not in many of the photos because I’m behind the camera but this weekend I asked both Clayton and Mike to take photos as well so that I was in some of them. In looking at them since, I’ve had lots of thoughts and feelings. Some deep. Some less so. And some honestly just vain like what happened to my neck? When did my hair get so much glitter in it? Where did all those lines come from?
The truth is, they happened through the process of living. They happened through the process of loving. They happened during this amazing, insane, roller coaster adventure called parenting.
They happened during those long nights spent with little sleep. Those endless days when I wondered if that baby would ever let me put him down without crying. If he would ever sleep in his own bed without being held.
They happened during those days and weeks and months as my children grew and became independent and I wondered if they would ever let me hold them again.
They happened during those years spent watching them grow and develop personalities and talents and senses of humor.
They happened in the times I spent grieving with them and comforting them over broken bones, broken hearts, and broken dreams.
They happened on numerous family trips, both big and small, filled with lots of laughter, not enough sleep, and priceless memories.
They happened in the midst of all the prayers said in doctors offices, emergency rooms, and by hospital beds.
They happened during those late nights of football games, school dances, IHOP runs, Braums trips after theatre performances, and those early morning marching competitions, UIL events, art contests, and rehearsals.
But the truth is, while I miss the elasticity of my younger skin, the sheen my hair once had, and my younger, more thin and fit body, I’ll take the me I am now without hesitation. Because, like the velveteen rabbit, I’m real. A bit of my hair has been loved off, my eyes are a little droopy, my joints a little loose, and I’m a bit on the shabby side. But I’m real. And I’m loved. And that is worth everything.
Thursday, August 23, 2018
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