Our discussion in small group yesterday involved in part what
we believe about God. We have an interesting class with people of very
different backgrounds which often leads to lively and though provoking
conversations. Yesterday was no exception. One of the gentlemen in the class,
who is a bit older, and from a different faith background, described his belief
that God created the heaven and earth, as the Creed says, but also his belief
that God is not directly involved in people’s lives now. He explained his
thoughts that if God truly were involved in all the day to day happenings in
people’s lives, how could God allow the bad things to happen that do.
It actually isn’t hard for me to understand his thought
process. I don’t agree with it, but I understand it.
One of the things in this life that I understand least and
struggle with most is why God allows bad things to happen. Why God lets people
die who still have so much to give and are still needed so much. Why God lets
people live who are far past the age and time they want to live, or lets people
live who do nothing but cause harm and misery to others. Why God lets little children
be tortured and abused and killed by those who are supposed to love them the
most. I do not understand these things and I probably never will.
What I do know is this.
In all the darkest times of my life, when things were
happening that I did not know or understand, God was there. It was then that I
felt the presence of God most strongly and most clearly. It was then that God
held me up when I wasn’t able to do so for myself. It was then that God sent
people to stand beside me and to give me strength, comfort, and a sense of
safety when I couldn’t find those things on my own.
What I do know is this.
God brings beautiful things out of the dust. I don’t think God allows things to happen so
that good can come out of it. I think God allows bad things to happen because
we have been given free will and because we live in a broken world. I believe
God brings good out of the bad because God is love. I believe that God does the
most amazing work in us when we are hurting the most. I believe God always
turns broken into beautiful.
What I do know is this.
I can look back on my life and so clearly see the
fingerprints of God in the way that I have ended up where I am, with who I am, and
as I am. I can so clearly see those fingerprints in the path that God is
currently leading me on to live out the call that God has placed in my life. It
is so obvious some days that it is almost comical to me.
What I do know is this.
God is now, and always has been, in every part of my life; those
in which I welcome that divine intervention and those I do not. God is there. God
has walked beside me in the worst parts of my life and in the best. God has
walked beside me with pride in me, and in sorrow over the decisions that I have
made that hurt myself and hurt God. God has walked beside me in my heartbreak
and my brokenness. And God has walked beside me in my joy and my contentment.
What I do know is this.
I will never understand all the things that happen in this
world. I will never fully understand the character of God because God is so
much bigger than my human mind and my human heart can comprehend. And in my
lack of understanding, there are times I will rage at God and the things that
happen in this world that God allows.
But here’s what I know about that.
God is big enough to handle that. God is big enough to
handle the rage. God is big enough to handle the doubts. God is big enough to handle
the questions. God is big enough to handle the sorrow and disappointment when I
make wrong decisions and God is big enough to lead me back onto the right path and
to never stop loving me along the way.
And I know…
That when my days on this earth are done, whether that be 50
years or 50 minutes from now, my Jesus will be there to walk me home. And my
Jesus will be here on earth to comfort those that I leave behind. And hold them
up when they can’t stand by themselves. And surround them with people to give
them a sense of strength, and comfort, and safety, and to love them through their
pain until they can begin to heal.
That is what I know about God.
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