Rising with skinned knees and bruised hearts

I had a Facebook post from a year ago show up on my Timehop yesterday. The timing could not have been more appropriate.  It read as follows:

A good friend of mine, who has worked in the trenches, so she knows, said something last week that I've really been contemplating since. She said, "Not everyone can do hard things. If you are a person who can do hard things, you must do hard things." That really struck me as I often have people comment that they don't know how I'm able to do the job that I do when they find out what my job is about. It never really occurred to me that not everyone could do this job. Or other jobs that involve "hard things." Over the past couple of days, I've been wondering if those of us that can do hard things can do so because we've been through hard things ourselves before. Maybe we are stronger because we have been tempered from having walked through the fire at some point earlier in our lives. Or maybe it's just because some of us have such a strong need to help others walk through hard places of their own.

Whatever the reason for the ability, I want to encourage my fellow friends who are doing the hard things. Attorneys, CPS workers, CASA volunteers, foster parents, law enforcement and other first responders, medical professionals, pastors, everyone who deals with hard things every day. I see you and I appreciate you. And I know that sometimes behind that tough exterior of someone who can do hard things is a person who is still struggling with their own hard things. Hang in there, friend. We are all in this together.

It was especially appropriate for me to read that yesterday because yesterday was a day full of REALLY hard things. The day started with 4 plus straight hours of hearings with difficult cases. The morning ended with me getting yelled at by an angry grandparent, and raising my voice back in response to that yelling, displaying, admittedly, not my best self. I try not to engage with people who are angry, hurt, or for whatever other reason, are feeling all their feels. Most days I’m successful. But sometimes somebody pushes my buttons and my ability to rise above is hampered. This was one of those times.

A late and much needed lunch with a dear friend helped soothe the savage beast somewhat but then I came back to people needing me. So much that they followed me to my office before I had even had the chance to set down my things and turn on my computer. And then my drive home involved a call by another person needing to talk to me about yet another situation that needed my involvement. And then finally, on my way to have ice cream with a couple of trusted friends, to smooth out some of the rough edges of the day, I got another call about another case in need of my attention. My patience by that point was absent. My language was less than pleasant. My mood was less than good.

It was a hard day.

Because this is a job full of hard things.

And no matter how good I may be at dealing with hard things, it’s still hard. For me.  And for everyone who deals with hard things each and every day, in their professional life and in their personal life.

So know this, friends who do hard things. 

I still see you.

I still appreciate you.

And I know.

I know that some days are just hard.

Some days somebody pushes your buttons and you aren’t your best self.

Some days you don’t have enough patience, or enough kind words, or enough wisdom to make it through the day being your best self.

Some days you're struggling with so many of your own hard things that it's all you can do to make it through the day, much less deal with the hard things you're carrying for other people.

I know.

I also know that tomorrow, you will get up and do it again, because that’s what people who deal with hard things do.

We get up and we try again.

And we try to find the joy along the way. Whether that be lunch with a dear friend, time holding happy babies, late evening ice cream trips with our tribe, or late night snuggles with our teenagers.

And we start the next day with a whole new sense of purpose. A whole new sense of resolve. A dedication to do the things that need to be done.

Because this is how God made us.

And this is how we bring the kingdom come.

Each and every day.

Even the days that are especially hard.

So grant yourself the same grace that you grant others.

Be kind to yourself, even when you think you don’t deserve it.

And know that you are seen.

You are appreciated.

And we are all in this together.