The things we don't discuss

I have seen this particular quote more than once in the last couple of weeks and my initial reaction was #preach because it’s really so true. But when I saw it again yesterday, it didn’t sit completely right with me and I couldn’t figure out why. And then I realized what was bothering me about it.

It made me think of a story I read a couple of weeks ago written by the mother of an 8 year old bone cancer survivor. Her little girl came to her one day crying because she said a boy had told her she shouldn’t wear shirts that showed her scars, because they were too scary. She cried because she just wanted to be normal. Her mother’s response to the little girl was that probably what was scary to the little boy was the thought of what she had gone through to get those scars, but that the scars themselves were beautiful. That the little girl had an incredibly story and she should be proud of what she had overcome. Being 8, the little girl continued in her sadness and her wish to be normal. Her mother asked her to think of all the other little girls that had been through what she had, and would have scars like her, and asked her if she wanted them to cover their scars. The little girl said that she did not, as she did not want them to be sad. Her mother assured her that by being proud of her scars, she was inspiring those other little girls to be proud of theirs as well.

How many of us have our own wounds that we are afraid to talk about or scars that we are afraid to show? That we hide because of embarrassment, or a sense of shame, or pain, or sadness. Out of a wish to be normal.

Wounds and scars of traumatic childhoods

Wounds and scars of sexual abuse

Wounds and scars of divorce

Wounds and scars of infertility

Wounds and scars of loss and grief

We all have wounds that haven’t quite healed. We all have scars. Some are on the outside, but many are where nobody else can see them. Where we can easily hide them. Because we don’t want people to find our wounds intimidating or our scars scary.

But when we are brave enough to be honest about our healing wounds, or brave enough to show our scars, we show there’s nothing to be scared of. When we are open about the healing we are doing, and proud of those scars because they show what we have overcome, we inspire others to be open about their healing, and proud of their scars as well.

Share the story of your healing wounds. Show your scars, my friends. They are beautiful. You are beautiful. Not in spite of your wounds, or in spite of your scars, but because of them. You have an incredible story. A brave story. Be proud of what you have overcome. It just may inspire someone else in ways you will never know.