The years that the locust has eaten

We wrapped up our semester long study of the Prophets in my disciple class this past Sunday. What I get out of that class most weeks is so much more than what was in the text that I may or may not have gotten around to reading that particular week. Our group facilitator puts so much work and thought into the lesson each week that we have amazing discussions, despite the preparedness, or lack thereof, of the rest of the class.

One of the verses that we read in this last segment has just stuck with me the past few days, and really hit home to me last night in a deep conversation with a good friend.

The verse comes from the book of Joel and reads as follows: “And I will restore to you the years that the locust has eaten” Joel 2:25 (ASV)

In all that I have learned about myself and about God in this past year of deep reflection, deep work, and deep realization of the character of God and of my own character, one of the biggest lies that I have managed to recognize and finally overcome is the lie that God could not use me because of the mistakes that I have made in my life and because of the shame of my past. For so many years, I have carried guilt that I was not fit to do the work that God would have me do because if I did so, and if people found out about the sins and shame of my past, that I would actually cause more harm than good.

I’ve realized in the last few months that, contrary to my belief that the wounds and scars of my past would hinder me from serving God, that God would actually use those wounds and scars as a way to use me to help to heal others in a way that I wouldn’t be able to be used without those very things that I thought held me back.

There was purpose to the pain.

I have been deeply humbled by the ways that God has used the words that he has given me in the past few months to help people to heal from wounds of their own. I am both amazed and grateful at the journey that God is leading me on into ministry to serve the broken and the hurting and those who have felt less than for far too long. I stand in awe and thankfulness at the amazing people that God had placed in my life who fill me with love, and courage, and confidence, to follow the path that God has set before me.

And I realize that part of what God is doing in this journey, in addition to gifting me with the ability to touch and to help others, is fulfilling the promise that was made in Joel 2:25. God is restoring to me the years that the locust has eaten.

There was purpose to the pain.

God has used the things that were meant for my destruction to form me and to shape me into exactly who I was meant to be. God has used the things that were meant to keep me from living out my life fully for God’s purpose as the way in which God’s purpose will actually be served.

There was purpose to the pain.

And years to rebuild what was taken away.

And I am grateful.