Work together loosely or part with a blessing

I've experienced a great deal of healing and personal growth in the last few months. Part of that healing and growth has resulted in my ability to stand up and speak truth in areas where I feel strongly. Truthfully, I've been gifted not just with the ability to stand up and speak truth but with the inability to keep my mouth shut when I feel there are areas of injustice or need that require me to speak. Being so outspoken has caused me to feel a little fearful at times. But each time I have felt led to speak, God has been faithful to show up and be with me in the speaking. I know that I will continue to speak, and that I will continue to grow bolder in speaking. And that as a result of that speaking, and as a result of that boldness, there may be a strain on some long-term relationships.  I'm not who I once was. I'm not even who I was six months ago. And that won't be easy for everyone to accept.

I attended a conference weekend before last and there was a phrase I heard there that has stuck with me since. The phrase was "You will have to either work together loosely or part with a blessing" and the context for the phrase was a situation of high conflict where two or more parties with very different positions are trying to find a way to move forward. 

Which pretty much describes much of life. It definitely describes much of my life, both work and personal. Most of the time I'm very good at seeing both sides of an issue. Because of that, I often play devil's advocate which can be frustrating sometimes for those I work with. I just like to look at all the options and all the sides of things before I make a firm commitment to one way of thinking. It's an odd characteristic for a trial attorney but one that made me a very effective mediator.

That's most of the time.  But there are times that I have tunnel vision. That I absolutely cannot see any position other than my own. That particularly happens when the issue involves inequality, or fairness, or justice. I form very strong opinions on these issues.  And I think people who don't agree with me are idiots. And they make me bitey. I'm fortunate to have a very good and trusted friend who helps me to see the motivations behind the actions of people that I disagree with vehemently. That helps me to be a little less bitey. But not totally so.

And so I think moving forward I'm going to try to "work together loosely" with people in work situations but also consider that there are times that I need to  "part with a blessing" in personal situations with those with whom I can't work together loosely because our beliefs are too different and can't be reconciled in a healthy way.  Which, quite frankly, is going to be a challenge. Because my personality type is one that avoids conflict whenever possible. Which makes the fact that I am an attorney in a high conflict field very ironic. And while that personality trait makes it easy most days for me to work together loosely with people, it also makes the thought of parting with a blessing one that breaks my heart. But I think that's a more faithful way to live than to move forward in constant disagreement and strife with someone with whom you can't agree on the most important issues, and to end up parting without that blessing.

So forgive me if I go someplace that you can't follow me. But I can't stop walking. And if that means we must part with a blessing, then let it be a true blessing. For both of us. Because God is where we both are.